Prediction Blog: Cuphead vs Hat Kid

"Sometimes you deal with the devil not because you want to, but because if you don't, no one else will." - Laurell K. Hamilton

Cuphead, the run-n'-gun rubberhose rascal.

Hat Kid, the space-travelling headfashionado.

When adventuring through strange lands collecting whatever mcguffins you've been assigned to collect, its important to always keep a positive attitude and straightforward approach, especially when those adventures lead to encounters with people you by all means should not be dealing with. 

Throwbacks to the old classics, well-known and beloved indie heroes, and main characters from games that Loka likes a real whole lot, in a duel between stubborn defiance and naive optimism, who will come out on top? Let's find out!

Before we begin...

I'll be looking at all official Cuphead media; the game, the Cuphead Show, and the comics. Unfortunately, I was unable to find anywhere to read the Cuphead novels online for free (yes there are novels. Two of them, in fact.), so I was unable to research them. Hopefully they don't add too much. 

The game will take main priority over any contradictory material from the other sources. 

Hat Kid has one game. Easy enough.  

Background

Cuphead

"Eh, I ain't too worried about it."

Come here, join me for a trip to the Inkwell Isles, maybe 29 miles or so off the coast. There's good, and there's bad, and then there's... in-between. What do I mean by that?

Well, you see, Cuphead and his pal Mugman liked to roll the dice, and ended up in the Devils game having to pay the price. After losing a deadly bet with the king of the underworld, the porcelain brothers begged for their lives. The Devil agreed to spare them, on one condition: Cuphead and Mugman would become his temporary henchmen to hunt down the souls of all other damned residents of the Isles that had failed their bets with the Devil as well. 

And so they would, the two brothers doing their best Ghost Rider impressions and becoming the Devil's henchmen, taking down all sorts of bizarre and powerful beings on his behalf. And wether they ultimately choose to join the man belows side forever, or ultimately betray him for the good of everything holy... well, that's to be found out.

Hat Kid

"Hey look, it's me! Look at that smile! But no time to waste - I gotta get home!!"

Hat Kid is a kid in a hat, who's name might be Heni. Keyword is might, because in truth, we don't know a lot about her, other than the fact that she's a humanoid alien who travels through time and the cosmos in her self-built space ship. 

As innocent and adorable as she is cunning and mischievous, Hat Kid is an expert adventurer who can handle any issues ahead of her, which came in good need when her ship losts it primary power source: the Time Pieces, stranding her on an alien planet. But through trial and error and the friends she makes along the way, Hat Kid will stand strong against any threats and come out no worse for the headwear with a big grin on her face. 

Equipment

Cuphead

Plane

When Cuphead needs to take to the skies, he does so piloting his cup-sized airplane, capable of swerving around all sorts of projectiles. The plane comes equipped with two primary weapons; projectile darts and mini-bombs. In addition, he can build up a super meter in order to fire missiles, or even further, turn into a warhead and unleash kamikaze destruction upon his foes.


Oh, and it can also like shrink and stuff. Not sure what's up with that. 

Charms

Provided by Porkgrind's Emporium for a surely fair fee, Charms are.... Charms!, which Cuphead can equip in order to boost his fighting capabilities. 
  • Heart: Grants an additional hit point but reduces damage by 5%.
  • Twin Heart: Grants two additional hit points but reduces damage by 10%.
  • Heart Ring: Regenerates one HP at the first, third, and sixth Parry.
  • Smoke Bomb: The best Charm. Causes Cuphead's dash to become a teleport, allowing him to dash through attacks without taking damage. 
  • P. Sugar: Causes Cuphead's Parries to become automatic, meaning he doesn't have to press the button to Parry.... wait why would that be an issue in a vs scenario-
  • Coffee: a very useful Charm that causes Cuphead's super meter to rise automatically, without him needing to deal damage to do so. 
  • Whetstone: Causes Cuphead's Parry move to become a damaging axe attack. 
  • Astral Cookie: Swaps Cuphead into Ms Chalice from the astral plane, equipped with a whole new moveset! Questionably standard, it doesn't really matter when you consider that Chalice is seen with a normal body at the end of the DLC, no cookie required. So, it's likely unusable by then. Probably makes for a nice snack at least. 
  • Divine Relic: Grants Cuphead the full boost of the Whetstone, Heart Ring, and Smoke Bomb Charms, alongside an enhanced version of the Coffee. Will also randomise Cuphead's finger shots, meaning he can instantly swap one for the other on the fly, though he does have to cycle between them in order to do so. 

Baseball Bat

Useful for hitting homeruns and batting people's (cup)heads in. 

Explosives

Cuphead really likes explosives. Like really. 

Most commonly, these take the shape of rockets that he uses to send objects flying sky high, or large ones that he can ride like a vehicle. 

Magic Pencil

A special pencil that Cuphead can presumably use to draw anything to life and erase it from reality, tough he's only ever used it to alter his and Mugman's faces. 

Muscle-B-Massive

Cuphead endorses drugs

Hat Kid

Spaceship

Hat Kid's signature, self-built method of spatial and temporal transportation. The Spaceship is the 14th iteration of its kind, is built out of a fusion of space-resistant wood and comet-proof glass, and contains a dimensional transporter that can "collapse dimensions together". 

The ship is controlled via an on-board smart computer using the Time Pieces (scroll down a little) as fuel. Alongside that, it's also just the ideal living home! I mean, have you seen her bedroom?

Weapons

Hat Kid's main tool of attacking evildoers and innocent civilians alike is by smacking them real hard with a long and hard object that questionably counts as a weapon. Her main weapon is her trusty umbrella, but she's got a number of other ones as well. 
  • Umbrella: Hat Kid's signature weapon of choice, her trusty umbrella can be used to smack the living daylights out of any foe that comes in her way. Naturally, as its an umbrella, she can open it up to block anything from rainwater to energy blasts, and use it to slow her descent during a fall. 
  • Gothic Umbrella: It's the umbrella, but now in style!
  • Baseball Bat: Perfect for property damage, intimidation, and sometimes baseballs. 
  • Pool Noodle: "wet slapping sounds"
  • The Catchmaster 9000: A fishing rod that Hat Kid can use to reel up fish and- oh wait nevermind she just smacks people with it. 
  • Trumpet: Doot

Hats

It's in her name, ain't it? Hat Kid has an impressionable fashion sense, and carries with her several fancy-looking hats that grant her numerous special abilities. 
  • Kid's Hat: Hat Kid's signature stylish purple tophat. Aside from being the foundation of her look, it will also automatically guide her towards her next point if interest, meaning she will never get lost. 
  • Sprint Hat: Boosts Hat Kid's speed, granting her the ability to sprint around at high speeds. 
  • Brewing Hat: Grants Hat Kid the ability to summon chargeable vials of explosive liquids, capable of annihilating enemies and obstacles. 
  • Ice Hat: Transforms Hat Kid into a cool ice sculpture while leaping into the air, causing her to come crashing down with a ground pound. While transformed, Hat Kid is immune to damage... unless it's fire, as it will knock her out of her icy state. 
  • Dweller's Mask: Allows Hat Kid to materialise objects that normally appear as green holographic objects, or platforms and entities that only exist in parallel time rifts. 

Badges

Provided by the Badge Seller for a surely fair fee, Hat Kid can equip several badges onto her person in order to utilise their powers. The majority of these... don't do much combat-wise, but a lot of them can be utilised effectively anyways.
  • Projectile Badge: Grants Hat Kid the ability to launch a chargeable beam attack from her weapon that comes in three different powers levels. 
  • Camera Badge: Let's Hat Kid take images of her journey. Lovely. 
  • Fast Hatter Badge: Significantly reduces the cooldown of Hat Kid's hat abilities, allowing her to utilise them more efficiently. 
  • Hookshot Badge: Allows Hat Kid to fire a hookshot out of her weapon, granting her the ability to swing and grapple around her surroundings. 
  • Hover Badge: Grants Hat Kid the ability to automatically pull out her umbrella if she falls from a deadly height, causing her to slowly descend safely. 
  • Item Magnet Badge: Causes small items such as health recovery and money to automatically be drawn towards Hat Kid. 
  • Mumble Badge: Changes every other characters dialogue into mumbling. 
  • No Bonk Badge: Gives Hat Kid an immunity to bonking against walls and ledges when parkouring around. 
  • Compass Badge: Summons a small red arrow that points Hat Kid towards her next goal.  
  • Scooter Badge: Changes the effect of the Sprint Hat, granting Hat Kid a scooter instead. Vehicular manslaughter incoming. 
  • 1-Hit Hero Badge: Lowers Hat Kid's HP down to an unalterable 1, meaning she will die from literally any attack.... yeah, maybe not use this one. 
  • Mirror Badge: Flips the screen, like you're looking through a mirror. I guess that might like... confuse foes?
  • Nostalgia Badge: Reduces graphical settings to make the world look like an N64 game. Neat. 
  • Peaceful Badge: Adds the Peace and Tranquility filter to the game, immediately making it the best one.
  • Retro Badge: Adds a filter to the game, making everything look like a GameBoy game. 
  • REDtro VR Badge: Adds a filter to the game, making everything look like a Virtual Boy game. 

Scooter

Nyooooooooom

Double Sunglasses

Because she's cool like that

Time Pieces

Alright, here we go. 

Time Pieces are the central focus of a Hat in Time, as they're the main fuel source for Hat Kid's ship, and are sought after by practically everyone after they get scattered all over the world. The reason people want them so much is for their immense mystical might, most notably their ability to manipulate time and space.

And, hey, if you've got a lot of them lying around, they also work as powerful projectiles that can be chucked at people. 
  • Time Manipulation: As their name implies, Time Pieces can control time. For instance, Moustache Girl accidentally used one to freeze and reverse time upon accidentally dropping one. Its likely that they can probably do other things, such as forwarding and slowing down time as well.

Powers and Abilities

Cuphead

Finger Gun Shots

Cuphead takes the idea of finger guns a little further than most. Granted to him from a magic potion that Elder Kettle just... fucking had lying around I guess, Cuphead can fire concentrated energy pellets by snapping his fingers with a wide variety of effects across different versions.

Each and every type of shot also comes with a stronger Ex version, which Cuphead can gain access to by dealing enough continous damage to foes (or by using Coffee). Once he uses an Ex attack, he'll need to build up that meter again in order to use it once more. 
  • Peashooter: The standard projectile, a continous volley of fast-moving, medium-damage bullets that travel in a straight line. 
    • Ex: Fires a single, powerful hadouken
  • Spread: A close-distance, three-way spread of projectiles that deal much higher damage at the cost of flexibility and range. 
    • Ex: Fires eight powerful projectiles around Cuphead. 
  • Chaser: A much weaker version that comes with the useful benefit of homing in on targets, meaning Cuphead can continously fire while dodging, not needing to aim. 
    • Ex: Surrounds Cuphead in a swarm of small projectiles, acting as a psuedo-barrier. 
  • Lobber: Stronger and slower than most other shots, the Lobber fires projectiles that arc downwards, dealing massive splash damage to foes. 
    • Ex: Fires a single, much larger Lobber that naturally has way higher damage. 
  • Charge: It's in the name, isn't it? Charge gives Cuphead access to two projectiles. There's the weaker uncharged and quite frankly pitiful version, and the immensely powerful charged blast. This is the only shot that can't be spammed to some degree. 
    • Ex: Releases a massive explosion directly in front of Cuphead. Easily his strongest basic attack. 
  • Roundabout: The best shot in the game (don't @ me), Roundabout fires horse-shoe shaped projectiles that fly forth before turning around with increased speed and power. 
    • Ex: Fires a massive buzzsaw of energy that will fly around, dealing damage to all foes on screen. 
  • Crackshot: The contender for best shot in the game (don't @ me), Crackshot fires a powerful projectile that, if it doesn't hit anything, breaks into a smaller shot that homes in on the nearest target. 
    • Ex: Summons a small, planet-shaped turret that will fire five homing shots. If parried, it will fly towards the nearest enemy. 
  • Converge: Fires three electric bolts, two in angles, that pass through enemies after hitting them. Can be focused into a single projectile. 
    • Ex: Fires a large, horizontal piercing electricity beam. 
  • Twist-Up: Fires three small tornadoes that arc upwards towards Cuphead, making it an excellent tool for hitting foes above him. 
    • Ex: Summons a large tornado that will circle Cuphead, increasing in radius before vanishing. 

Super Arts

Given to him by rescuing the legendary Chalice from the ghooooostly masuleums, the Super Arts are incredibly powerful attacks that Cuphead can utilise by completely filling up the beforementioned super meter, meaning he can only use them sparingly. 
  • Energy Beam: Unleashes a powerful beam from Cuphead's head made out of... milk? Alcohol? Souls? Whatever it is, it's easily Cuphead's single most powerful attack. 
  • Invincibility: Allows Cuphead to cross the astral plane for a short time, becoming invulnerable to any and all attacks. 
  • Giant Ghost: Summons Cuphead's spirit into a large ethereal avatar that flies around, dealing massive damage to foes. 

Parry

Huh I wonder where this gif is from

With a good-ol' parry slap, Cuphead can gain an additional jump and also fill up a portion of his super meter by parrying certain objects. The catch? They have to be pink, any object of any other colour are unable to be parried. 

Dash

Cuphead can dash forwards through the air, allowing him to gain better distances and dodge around his enemies. 

Elasticity

As a rubbery hosed fella, Cuphead can stretch and elongate any part of his body at will, meaning he can do stuff like reach objects further away, bounce away damage, and more easily dodge attacks. 

Toon Force

Being based on early 1900's cartoons, it's no suprise that Cuphead possesses one of the most overhyped abilities the vs community has ever seen; Toon Force! The exact usages and descriptions of toon force has been covered to death by now, but the basics if you haven't heard them is that its a wider term for several abilities that would normally be considered hax when utilised by cartoony characters. 

With toon force, Cuphead can do things like manipulating his body in any way he wants, like his beforementioned elastic abilities, and put his body together from most kinds of damage, even if his (cup)head is shattered to shards. 

And as you can see in the image above, toon force grants Cuphead the ability to interact with the world around him and essentially manipulate it in basically any way he wants. The most notable instance of this being his attempted pulling down of the moon. 


But actually, being a toon force user means he can instantly one-shot Superman and Thor and scales beyond multiversal cosmologies. Because all toon force users can do that, as we know. So get fucked.

Hat Kid

Crawl

A Heist with Hat Kid

Hat Kid's abilities of stealth and espionage are only matched by Solid Snake..... okay, maybe not, but she does have the ability to crawl along the ground to remain unseen by most unsuspecting foes. 

Dive

Wahoo Wahoo Wahoo 

Hat Kid can dive through the air to attack foes from above or her keep her momentum going as she dashes through her platforming adventures. 

Homing Attack

She thinks she's Sonic

During a dive attack, Hat Kid can choose to lock on to targets and attack them head-on. 

Kiss

Awwwwwwwww.....

Dance

Yeah

Feats

Cuphead

Overall

  • Taught the gaming community to get good.
  • Led a massive winning streak in the Devil's Casino
  • Collected every soul contract in less than 24 hours. 
    • This included defeating a set of vegetables, a pair of criminal frogs, a flower, the queen of candy, an actual genie, a huge robot, a three-headed dragon, a giant mermaid, and a undead train. All in a days work I guess. 
  • Defeated King Dice and the Devil himself. 
  • Collected the ingredients for the Wonder Tart and defeated Chef Saltbaker. 
  • Took on and won the King's Leap challenges
  • Expert pilot despite having no formal training 
  • Beat the Devil 6 - 0 in rock paper scissors
  • Made a plane out of scrap metal
  • Is Outerversal tbh

Strength

Speed

Durability

Hat Kid

Overall

Strength

Speed

Durability

Scaling

Cuphead

The Devil

He do be the final boss. While Cuphead and Mugman were originally terrified by his strength, by the end of the game they had grown more than powerful enough to take the big lug down no issue. 

Other Bosses

Do you really need an explanation for this? No matter how many try agains it might have taken, Cuphead utterly whooped each and every one of these guys asses, making him more than able to scale well above anything they can do. 
Hat Kid

Moustache Girl

Although they started out on good terms, Moustache Girl would ultimately grow to become Hat Kid's biggest (metaphorically) and most dangerous foe, taking her rivals Time Pieces for herself. However, even when amped up by Time Pieces, Hat Kid was still able to take her down. 

A common argument is that Hat Kid was given strength by her friends to beat Moustache, but in truth only thing they gave her was a projectile to hit her with, a way to weaken her forcefields, and ultimately just recovery items that didn't amp her physical power. There's no reason to assume they did so in the final fight when they haven't during the entire games run. By all means, the scaling is legit. 

The Snatcher

The other significant foe that Hat Kid faced during her quest, the devilish Snatcher is one of the most powerful entities alive. While she may only have been able to damage him after he was weakened by his own attack, Hat Kid ultimately defeated Moustache Girl when he was unable to by himself. Otherwise he would have... you know, done so. 

Weaknesses

 Cuphead

Tutorial

Cuphead is... well... not the brightest. Not to say he's dumb, he's just not prone to thinking ahead before throwing himself into difficult situations. He also struggles with... common sense. For instance, he didn't know the odds of winning rock paper scissors, mistook the name of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", famously gambled away his soul on a whim, and is just generally... something else for sure. 

Alongside this, a lot of his stronger attacks aren't exactly usable in most circumstances, as he has to continously deal damage or parry attacks in order to build up the super meter to access them (Even with Coffee automatically filling it up, that still takes some time). In a fight where he needs them to keep up, this could be a death sentence. 

Hat Kid

The Man who's name shall not be said
(Be happy if you don't know who I'm referring to)

While she may be a genius alien time-traveller. Hat Kid is also.... well, a kid. At least to us. It means that while she's extremely cunning, she is also incredibly naive, to a potential fault. She doesn't really take any situation seriously, and frequently behaves antagonistic and mischievous towards potential threats seemingly just to get a reaction. 

And since it seems to be a theme, all of her Hat specific and more powerful attacks have a cooldown that she will have to work around in order to use them in a fight. Plus, should her hats be knocked off her head, she'll be unable to use their powers. 

Summary

Cuphead
Advantages:
  • Is in Super Smash Bros. (kinda)
  • At worst equal in speed, at best faster
  • More useful abilities like Invincibility and Smoke Dash 
  • Better endurance 
  • Stronger than Hat Kid with the moon feat
  • Is in one of the best VS Animations ever made
Disadvantages:
  • Tutorial
  • Less durable
  • Physically weaker without the moon feat
  • Weaker than the Time Pieces, moon feat or not
  • Not as intelligent
Hat Kid


Advantages:
  • Canonically says Fuck
  • Is in Among Us (kinda)
  • Likely stronger and more durable
  • Smarter to a frankly ridiculous degree
  • Time Pieces are way stronger than anything Cuphead has 
  • Has a lot of counters against Cuphead's arsenal
  • Peckin' adorable
Disadvantages:
  • Either equal in speed or slower 
  • Less versatile
  • Weaker than Cuphead's moon feat w/o Time Pieces

Verdicts

Loka Fåghel

"ready?"
"WHALLOP!"

Cuphead vs Hat Kid, a matchup I hadn't even considered before I was suggested to make a blog for it, and here we are! I absolutely adore both of these games, so I had a swell time rexperiencing them after all these years.

But alright, who wins? Well, this is an interesting one consdering that it basically boils down to two things, those being; "Do you buy Cuphead's moon feat?" and "How strong do you think the Time Pieces are?". So.... before talking about that, let's get all the other factors out of the way!

Cuphead's quite more versatile. Time Pieces (which she's never used in combat) aside, Hat Kid really doesn't have a lot of weapons, but Cuphead's got several different type of shots that can keep her on her toes. Crackshot and Chaser particularly are useful considering they'll home in on her, and Converge can simply pass through any of her defences. Add on the Invincibility Super and Smoke Dash, and you could make a solid argument for Cuphead to simply overwhelm Heni. 

Unfortunately, he doesn't exactly have the firepower to make that work. At his best, cuphead can scale to the Devil's 100 ton forest scorch (I'm choosing to label scaling to Saltbaker destroying his basement either an outlier or just Saltbaker being stronger than Cuphead in general), which is close, but doesn't quite compare to Hat Kid taking 130 ton punches from the Mafia Goons on the daily.

Speed is questionable. I'd say Hat Kid is faster on foot while Cuphead has the better reactions. Luckily for Hat Kid, she can get around that with her Time Stop Hat, which is something cuphead simply doesn't have an answer to.

But alright, let's get back to those two original questions. Do I buy the moon feat? Nope. The fact alone that he was able to snare it with a rope means its probably waaaaaaay smaller than our moon, plus he didn't even manage to pull it down anyways. 

As for the Time Pieces, they can create stars and galaxies, right? I mean, maybe. There's really nothing saying that the feat is illegitimate or anything considering they can both do it by themselves and Moustache Girl was capable of doing it. So that's a pretty neat Multi-Solar System level feat. 

But it's not like she needs it to beat Cuphead. She matches in speed, wins in AP and durability, and is, quite frankly, obviously the smarter of the two. A fairly clear cut debate, but an interesting one regardless. I believe that Hat Kid has the tools and tricks to bring the porcepain upon Cphead.

Mannington

This debate, while a straightforward one, still has a fair share of wrinkles to go into for these indie gems in stats and how they mesh together. Speed is very likely comparable with high ends, Cuphead likely taking a slight edge in that case. While this, coupled with his plentiful projectiles could be quite tricky for Hat Kid, but the Sprint Cap and especially the Time Stop Hat can make it much easier for her to avoid many of Cuphead’s projectiles and close in. The two also vary in closer and long range combat. While Cuphead isn’t a slouch at a range and has options to get away like with the Smoke Dash, Hat Kid’s aforementioned options for approach on top of abilities like homing attacks and hookshot means she’ll be more likely to close the gap than Cuphead can widen it. Cuphead still isn’t a slouch at a close range. Whetstone, Roundabout, and Spread can function up close. His pencil may also be useful, though his showings aren’t exactly impressive so it might not be all too useful in the drawing area but erasing could be useful even if it only affects the surface of things, like wiping away her face. All that can be enough to try and poke down Hat Kid’s defenses. But most of his feats shown don’t come close to Hat Kid being on the level of comet tanking. On the flipside, Hat Kid isn’t winning any awards for her strength showings, but they should hit hard enough to shatter the cup’s defense. Durability is a pretty open and shut case as well. Cuphead doesn't even break into a ton of TNT while Hat Kid can smack around those same comet level Mafia around like nothing. And trying to get to match her destructive potential isn’t easy for Cuphead. Hat Kid’s lack of naturally pink projectiles would make it difficult to build up supers over a short time, limiting his harder hitting moves and fall backs like invincibility.

Cuphead just lacks anything to capitalize on his wide arsenal…unless you lean out for a reaaaaaal big high end. Dubious as the moon pull is given the size and toon force elements, there is a chance it could reach the high end. So for the sake of argument, let's say, without any cartoony logic or toon force involved, Cuphead lassoed and pulled down the entire moon in its full size. That would drastically boost his AP to insane degrees, meaning he can put Hat Kid down with just a few good hits, which would more than likely be possible even with her options to weave through his attacks. Enough widespread or shots could be all he needs to fulfill her death wish…but what about the funny hourglasses?

So, let’s talk Time Pieces. Despite how powerful they are, we don’t see them in use all too often before the end game. We get a glimpse of brief rewinding when Mustache Girl drops one after the Mafia throwdown. Talk with the directors brings up that they know how to use this power to travel time though it’s never acted on. Time Rifts are the most obvious showings of their full power before the climax, creating entire pocket dimensions. While it’s somewhat dubious just how big they can fully be, their usage to recreate the planet implies that level of change on a surface level, and with various mentions of this as an alternate reality implies it can reach higher. While Hat Kind herself hasn’t used the Time Pieces offensively, Mustache Girl, someone with far less knowledge and experience on them, managed to use them to completely reshape the planet in her image. If she can do that over a few weeks, it’s likely Hat Kid can harness them the same way, already showing that she can undo Mustache Girl’s world with little effort. And on top of that all, Hat Kid managed to beat Mustache Girl fully amplified by their power. Given Mustache Girl struggled dealing with just common Mafia goons beforehand, she’s clearly amplified by their direct power. Hat Kid beating her without any amplification from Time Pieces means that her own power could be absurd with that. And that isn't even accounting for the Time Pieces’ unique powers like time manipulation and reality warping, allowing her to undo damage or even reshape the surroundings given enough time. Even if she wouldn’t normally use them outside of fuel, they’re still a part of her arsenal she has one hand and would use in the worst case scenarios, just like a Death Battle. And it likely goes without saying that the sheer destructive potential of the Time Pieces dwarves anything Cuphead has up his sleeves.

Despite Cuphead’s impressive arsenal and skill, Hat Kid had everything she needed to seal the deal.

HeavenPiercerChris101

when the indies are crossing
should have been mugman vs bow kid tbh.

Comparing their stats, I'm honestly not too sure who edges out here? As far as I can tell, speed seems entirely depend on how big a number you give to Hat Kid's moving alongside electricity while its travelling between poles, which is proooooooobably faster than Cup's lightning dodge

As for raw power, it seems that it entirely depends on how you handle the moon feat and the time pieces. oh boy.

Let's start with Cup boy and his silly and goofy moon pulling feat. ...I don't really think this one is all that usable really. Not only is this moon so small that he can grab it with a REALLY SMALL ROPE, so it's very much so not the size of an actual moon, but he also barely even manages to move it at all. I don't really think it's an usable feat, and if I had to, I'd use the weaker end calc for it. 

As for the Time Pieces, they create time rifts which have pointy dots in the sky! Surely this is a multi-solar system level feat! So even with the high ends for the Moon feat, Hat Kid still one-shots, right?
eh

I'm personally really not a fan of these kinds of feats, so while I can't speak for any of the other voters, I won't be using the creation of the time rifts as a factor for who wins. It's probably fine if you're ok with using this sort of stuff, but I'm not!

With those feats out of the way, the best thing for both sides are The Devil scorching a forest and a Mafia Goon breaking through the anti-comet glass. These feats have pretty similar numbers, but one comes from the big bad and final boss of Cuphead while the other comes from a generic enemy and is still stronger. Suffice to say that Hat Kid has the edge in power in spades.
(but err err hilda berg is star level err err)

Neither of them have super noticable haxxes that would turn the tides too much, Hat Kid's Time Slow and Ice Hats and Cuphead's invincibility being the main ones (outside of the Time Pieces that Hat Kid doesn't really use in combat), so I believe that at the end of the day, Hat Kid has just enough of an edge no matter what you buy to take home the win! That's a knockout!

AwesomeEthan48

You know, I've actually resumed my playthrough of Cuphead after abondoning it for a few year due to school and stuff, so talk about appropriate timing. I'm currently stuck on Grim Matchstick right now as the final boss I need to beat in Inkwell Isle 2 (I've gotten the general idea on what I'm supposed to do/dodge, I just have skill issues).

Anyway, hi, Ethan here, back to do a second verdict for Loka's funni G1 Blogs. This isn't my preferred for Cuphead (Peacock says hi), but I figured I'd join this blog to cash in my 2 cents.

First off Hat Kid's absolutely faster than Cuphead. The latter gets up to Mach 1868.94 from dodging lightning bolts while the former gets to 90% the seed of light from moving roughly alongside electricity, which (according to Google) is... Mach 792654... Yeah no, that's way faster than lightning-dodging.

As for strength, aside from his assorted Wall-Small Building level feats and scaling to the Devil's City Block+-Multi-City Block-level forest-scorching feat, the best feat Cuphead has is the higher end of the moon-pulling feat from the show, which nets him a cool 378 Yottatons of TNT. Meanwhile, Hat Kid scales to a Time Pieces-amped Moustache Girl, and those hourglasses apparently can just create alternate realities and dimensions with stars and galaxies in them. I think that's a little bit more impressive than tugging at the Moon a few times.

Now onto weaponry and abilities. Cuphead's definitely more of an overall ranged fighter with his finger guns, and normal parrying to fill up his cards isn't gonna help since I don't think Hat Kid's got anything pink on them (I haven't played Hat Kid yet, so probably take this part with a shaker of salt), but at least he has the Whetstone/Divine Ring, so that's something, I guess. He's got better mobility thanks to his dash and plane (assuming Hat Kid's spaceship doesn't come into play), but that ain't enough to close the wide speed gap.

As for Hat Kid, her umbrella being able to block energy attacks is kind of the perfect counter to Cuphead, since that's what basically all of his finger gun bullets are AFAIK. Jury's kind of out on Super Art I, but still, big advantage there alone. The Sprint and Time Stop Hat prove useful in widening the already big speed gap via boosting her speed and slowing down time, respectively, and the Brewing Hat and Projectile Badge allows her to also play the range game. And that's not even getting into the time-manipulating bullshit of the Time Pieces if we give her those!

Overall, while Cuphead is my preferred of the two, Hat Kid's too fast, too strong, and more versatile for him to handle, and his variety of finger gun shots are pretty much useless the moment Hat Kid shields herself with her umbrella.

Hat's off to Hat Kid, everybody; she took a gamble that payed off and left Cuphead's expectations... shattered, I guess? I dunno, there's probably a "cup-ple" better ending puns out there, but eh. The winner (in my opinion) is Hat Kid.

AnAustralianPerson

Cuphead vs Hat Kid, battle of the indie game scrunklies. But who do I think wins? Let's break this down.

Firstly, strength, and where the fight starts to get wacky. So, depending on what you buy for both, they are either Street-Town level, or Solar System-level in strength. Regardless of which level they're at, I have to give strength to Hat Kid. Without their best, Hat Kid surviving hits from The Mafia outdoes anything Cuphead does (130 tons vs .037 tons). But even with their best, Cuphead pulling the Moon has nothing on the power of the Time Pieces being used to make another dimension.

Next, speed. Again, I have to give this to Hat Kid. While Cuphead dodging lightning is incredibly impressive, Hat Kid was able to dodge pure electricity running through wires, even without her time-manipulating hacks such as the Time Stop Hat and Time Pieces.

And finally, the misc. section. For Cuphead, he has plenty of cartoony physics that should keep Hat Kid on her toes, as well as being able to outrange her with his variety of projectiles. But sadly, yet again, he doesn't really have an answer to the sheer reality-breaking madness that is the Time Pieces. Who's to say that Hat Kid couldn't just re-write Cuphead to not have toon physics when the much-less experienced Mustache Girl was able to rewrite reality at her whime?

Overall, Cuphead is an impressive young lad, but Hat Kid's greater speed, experience and powers thanks to the Time Pieces nets her the win. 

"I tip my hat to this cup, though sadly his time is up."

Gman

Thanks for having me for one of these again Loka. 

Let's cover strength first. Cuphead was able to defeat The Devil who was able to create a massive storm over the Inkwell Isles to make a stage for his and Ms. Chalice's dance-off, as well as pull the moon with a lasso. While both of those are very impressive or at least one is, ymmv. In comparison, Hat Kid was able to defeat Mustache Girl, who was amped up by a bunch of time pieces. Time pieces can make rifts in reality containing stars. Taking this at face value, which I'm going to do, that's far above both Cuphead and The Devil's feats of strength combined. Strength goes to Hat Kid.

Speed, on the other hand, I believe goes in Cuphead's favor. Mostly because he just, has more instances of dodging attacks as opposed to Hat Kid. Whereas she can dodge rockets, Cuphead can dodge cannonballs, sharks, words, lightning, and lasers. As such, I'm giving speed to Cuphead.

Durability is a bit tricky. Cuphead, as a cartoon, has something called "toonforce", which let's him squash and stretch his way through any obstacle. But, just by going off of what he has survived, I believe Hat Kid is tougher, being able to take hits from the mafia, who were able to shatter the comet-proof glass of her ship, as well as surviving atmospheric re-entry, and the actual from space. Durability goes to Hat Kid.

Now for their abilities and arsenal. Cuphead's charms can increase his health by 3 hearts (reducing his attack by 15%), parry off of pink attacks, heal from his first, third, and sixth parry, turn his parry into an axe, increase his super meter, and give him teleportation via a smoke bomb. Outside of charms, his finger gun has two spread shots (one of which can go through objects), two homing shots, a charge shot, a lobbing shot, a roundabout shot that acts like a boomerang, and a shot that can fire tornados, great for hitting foes above him. The super arts grant him the ability to fire a massive beam from his cup head, become invincible for a short time, and turn into a giant muscular ghost. 

Let's switch things over to Hat Kid.

Thanks to badges, Hat Kid can
> Shoot projectiles out of her umbrella
> Reduce the cool down of her other hats(which I'll cover after I cover the badges)
> Fire a hookshot from her umbrella
> Ride a scooter (presumably without a licence)

Now for her namesake. Her hats. With them, she can
> Throw explosive potions
> Turn into an ice sculpture
> And slow down time

All of this sounds pretty impressive on its own, right?

Let's talk about the time pieces

These power star/jiggy/third collectable things can
> Control time
> Travel through time
> Manipulate space and reality
> Manipulate dreams
> Grant acausalty or however it's spelled
> Duplicate themselves
> And create forcefields, portals, let you teleport, let you fly, etc

These things alone give Hat Kid the win in this category like 💀

Anyways, despite Cuphead's speed advantage, I believe that Hat Kid, with her superior strength, durability, and absolute bullshit versatility gives her the win over Cuphead. 

Looks like Cuphead's time was up. Sure.

Results

Team Cuphead: 0 (rip bozo)

Team Hat Kid: 6 (Loka, Mannington, Chris, Ethan, Aussie, Gman / Everyone)

"A KNOCKOUT!"

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